Week 12: Monologue Critiques

Today in class, we had the opportunity to review a few of the monologues in our class critique. Unfortunately, we did not get to all of them so we are each critiquing another person's monologue in the class. I chose Andrew Hartman's Jaws Monologue.

The cover page is effective and attention grabbing due to the use of red with the title Jaws and the red on the spine of the book, which extends to the back cover. It was a nice touch to use the actual Jaws typeface and the subtle gradient really emphasized the idea of the ocean and reminded me of the DVD cover, which I am sure was intentional.

The first spread really caught my eye and I thought that the use of space was very effective. The red text pops and catches your attention, while the word "shark?" on the 90 degree angle works nicely with the red text and creates a sense of contrast, since it is much larger. The white space on the right side really helps to bring your eye down to the corner to read "He's got lifeless eyes."

The next few spreads are all well done but seem to get slightly repetitive in that all of the text is centered on the page. I believe this works well for the second spread, since it is talking about eyes; you almost feel like the words are staring you in the face since they are so large, bold, and centered.

The spread after that is effective in the way that the type increases in size (like it's actually "coming at ya") but I think this page could've benefited from a not-so-centered composition to create a little variety. The same can be said about the next four spreads, though I enjoyed the use of the red text for the word "bite" and how the word "ya" after it actually had a chunk missing from it like it was bitten off by a shark. I also thought the page with the word "ah..." really helped with the pacing but again could've benefitted from a slightly different composition. Maybe putting the "ah..." on one side and having the opposite page be a solid black or red color, perhaps?

The next spread was one of the most effective spreads in the whole book, because it utilized a strong diagonal and stretched type to convey the feeling of "high pitch screaming". The words "high pitch" were stretched, which I found to be very effective and the word "screaming" was in red, emphasizing the bloody event which is taking place as well as the blood-curdling screams that you would picture if someone was being attacked by a shark.

The next spread is also effective, because it utilizes a gradient going from white to red to further convey the message of the ocean turning red due to all the blood. It was a subtle touch that really enforced the message and enhanced the page.

The way the next spread is set up helps draw your eye down using the white space and then you read through to the bold red words, which clearly stand out and are given more importance.

The next spread is slightly less effective and almost comes across as a filler. Again, utilizing a different composition that was more visually dynamic might've created a bit more visual interest and suspense before the reader flips to the next page.

Finally, I see the idea behind the concept for the last spread, but if you are talking about "ripping" something to pieces, I would think that the text wouldn't be cut in half so cleanly. Perhaps, you could cut the text in such a way that it looks like it was torn apart, or possibly scatter the letters to create the illusion that the sentence was ripped apart but still arrange it in a way that it readable.

Those were my thoughts on the monologue. Overall, I thought Andrew did a very nice job. His monologue was thoughtful and well-crafted. I think he made a lot of major changes that really enhanced his overall design and I think it came out very well.